The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
