Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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