I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
True strength comes from lack of pants
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize