at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
