I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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