it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize