We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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