You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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