dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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