Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
