The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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