After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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