Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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