i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
