and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
