Who did Billy Mays play for?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
