i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
