office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
