Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You need Xanax blowdarts
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
