I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
