I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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