Cold hands, warm shart.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
