in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
