arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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