i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
