I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize