Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
