Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
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i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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