What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
