he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
