I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
