gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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