Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
