:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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