Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize