I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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