My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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