butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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