At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
