I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
