She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
