saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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