Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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