btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think i have two assholes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
