last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
