It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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