Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
