just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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