So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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