Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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