Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
