So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
