i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
