They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize