At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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