just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
