Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
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i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
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And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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