I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
