all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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