Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
