I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
