I just saw a hot homeless man
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm like, not good at living.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
