he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
