half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
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God gave him joint rollers for hands
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
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When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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