A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize